The Art of Parenting is an exciting topic widely discussed. Let’s start with these questions.
What has been your biggest challenge as a parent?
How do you ground yourself amidst the ups and downs, confusions and cares, frustrations and fears of being a parent?
What has been your biggest accomplishment as a parent?
How do you ensure that your children grow up with a strong sense of identity and purpose?
What are some things you do to connect with your child?
Do you think that being a parent is a spiritually fulfilling experience?
As parents, you want to do everything in your power to raise your children with the best tools and opportunities for success. But sometimes, it can be hard to know where to start. One important place to focus is raising your children with a solid spiritual foundation. By incorporating spiritual approaches into your Parenting, you can help give your children a sense of peace, love, and purpose in life.
Let’s explore the spiritual art of Parenting today!
Let’s understand the consciousness approach to Parenting!
The Ancient Vedic sages say “lAlayEth pancha varSHANi”, the verse means until a child is five years old, shower as much love as you can on the child. There is no such thing as too much love at this stage.
You don’t allow your children to be emotionally hurt or don’t allow your children to feel abandoned until they are five because these experiences can become lasting impressions on the child and last their entire lifetime.
Just because you as an adult may not have any memories from that tender age does not mean those impressions are not there on you.
From age six to sixteen, the ancients said, “dasha varSHANi thAdayEth”,
thAdayEth does not mean controlling them or being strict with them. It only means that this is the age you consciously focus on nurturing beautiful states like gratitude, compassion, kindness, joyfulness, and courage in your children.
A child is like a garden at this stage. Don’t expect that they should naturally feel grateful or make them feel bad if they don’t. Don’t judge them for being arrogant. Goodness cannot be cultivated as a value or as a virtue. It can only come by nurturing a greater awareness of themselves and the world, a greater acceptance of themselves and others, greater compassion and respect for themselves and all living beings.
At the age of five, their first spiritual education should begin. That is why our ancients perform Brahmopadesha marking the beginning of learning for the child. That is why in ancient times, the father had his child sit on the lap and encouraged the child to hold an intention – that divine effulgence must permeate his consciousness.
That is the meaning of the Gayatri mantra.
Can a mother do Brahmopadesha to her daughter?
Absolutely – is not Gayatri herself a goddess?
If you are a spiritually awakened mother, you can do it to your son or daughter as well.
From sixteen onwards, the Vedas say treat your child like a friend.
prApthE thu SHOdashE varSHE puthram mithravadh AcharEth
Friendship is an extraordinary relationship a parent and child can nurture.
How can parents be friends with children?
The essence of friendship is not to judge your children but to respect them as they are.
Children can be rude at this age; they may even judge you. Can you dissolve your disappointments and shock and get back to them with love?
This phase can be difficult, and it can be confusing for most parents. It is also a phase of confusion and conflict for children because a significant evolutionary transition is at work in their bodies and brains.
Young people enter the wild as hunter-gatherers over several thousands of years of evolution at this age. It is a period of formal separation from the parent. It is also a period of dependence on their fears.
Even though your children are not entering the wild at sixteen, the same evolutionary tendencies take over. They do not understand why. Inevitably, there is a process of disentangling their identities & dependence on their parents and a greater reliance on their friends & peers. That is why this phase can be a confusing time for both parents and children. If you as a parent can understand this, you will have compassion for them.
The enormity of life experiences hit them at this stage. They confront failure, rejection, feelings of insufficiency, questions about purpose and future career. It is a hard time for them too.
Only as a parent can you learn the art of dissolving your anger and disappointment to connect to your child. Connecting and feeling what they are feeling, and letting them know, that you will love them regardless of how they fare in life is the greatest gift you can give your children.
Such children will grow up to be happy human beings. They will grow into leaders who contribute to the betterment of the world around them, each in their way.
The spiritual art of parenting is a journey.
There is no need to feel bad or guilty on how you have raised your child so far.
Every child can be healed and create a great destiny if both the parent and child go through inner transformation journeys. Inner Transformation is the key.